At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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