Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
