yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
