hell yes lets make some ravioli
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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