Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize