next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
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Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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