Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The air taste purple.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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