On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
