woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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