Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
