Just cropdusted the office
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!