i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Randomize
