i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal