i can't believe i had my finger in that
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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