I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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