I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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