I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
