Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
