All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Im just a social blackout drinker.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
