he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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