I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
