My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
MIDGETS
????
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
