That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
