Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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