what if every blade of grass was a penis?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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