You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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