I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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