Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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