i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
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