her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
