you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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