I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
