ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
