you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
