I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
