He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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