to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
