dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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