you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw