Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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