In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...