Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.