I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
