that's an acceptable place to lick
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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