shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
