toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
