ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
