get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
