Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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