He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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