What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
