I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
i wish my penis had a tongue
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
