Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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