Say something about gay babies.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize