I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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