Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
