omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
