Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
