I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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