i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
